Weight Loss Success Journey with Shari Ware
me&my health up podcast episode #22- Transcript
Anthony Hartcher 0:00
Welcome to another amazing episode of Health Up. I’m your host Anthony Hartcher. Health Up seeks to inspire and enhance and enlighten the well being of others. Today, we’re blessed to have with us, Shari Ware from Lifestyle Business coach, and she’s also an author or speaker and is the CEO of FAB New Body and in that fad, new body face that we’re going to be delving into.
So we want to help you in this episode in terms of shedding those kilos that I’m wanting kilos that may have come from COVID. And or, you know, help you achieve the body you desire or just make you feel more comfortable in your own skin and how you perceive yourself. So this is why we’re speaking to Shari today. How are you Shari?
Shari Ware 0:49
Thank you. Thank you for inviting me. It’s great to be here.
Anthony Hartcher 0:53
Thank you so much for putting aside the time and joining us. So if you could just give us some background as to how you have arrived to what you’re doing today. And then we’ll get into more about what you’re doing and how you help others achieve the body of their dreams. But yeah, just that bit of background, we like to hear that story behind you.
Shari Ware 1:13
Sure. So it started about 10 years ago. Back then I was about 34 years old. And I found myself at a place where I was over 180 kilos. And I didn’t arrive there overnight. It certainly took a long time for me to get to that point. But I was there. And it all stemmed from a lifetime of doing everything for everybody else and not doing the things that I needed to do for myself. And lots of things in my subconscious that for many, many years, I wasn’t even aware of emotional eating, limiting beliefs, all of those things.
So about 10 years ago, when I was at that point, I, I woke up one day, and I realised that what had been stopping me for so long, and I wasn’t aware of it was that. And it sounds ridiculous. Even when I say it, I know it sounds ridiculous. But I know people will resonate. I didn’t want to have a relationship, the relationship, My last relationship before that point in time had been there had ended badly. And I was very hurt. And I didn’t want to repeat that. And so what I didn’t realise for many, many years was that my weight was actually a suit of armour, was my protection against fat.
So what changed for me was that I woke up one day, and I realised that I, Hey, maybe I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. Maybe I might want to have a relationship. And that was the switch that flipped for me. I definitely had lots of reasons why, even before that I had a young daughter. And you know, I wanted to see her grow up and finish school and get married and have children. And you know, at that size, I was, I was a heart attack waiting to happen. I knew that. But that wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough, because I had that massive reason why I didn’t want to why I needed why why I felt I needed that protection.
So when that went away, I then had what I call massive white power. And I was able to make the changes I needed to make my lifestyle, one at a time. And I released 100 kilos. And I haven’t looked back since. And I realised that going through that, that it’s not all about eating less and moving more there. Certainly it’s important. And nutrition is definitely important. Exercise is definitely important. But what’s, what’s the most important and where we need to start is why aren’t we doing what we know we need to do because we do all know, we might not know all the steps we need to take. But we do know at least one or two, maybe more. And for some reason we’re not taking those steps. So to be able to do that we need to work on removing the cause what is causing us to do what we’re doing.
Anthony Hartcher 4:38
So you mentioned you had some limiting beliefs and was that the trigger to shift you from that in once you remove those limiting beliefs and blocks? It really allowed you to move forward and lose that 100 kilos.
Shari Ware 4:54
Yes. So luckily for me, because I was very unaware of I just didn’t have any, have this awareness when I first started my journey the last time. Luckily for me, those things shifted as I went along.
So the two of the biggest limiting beliefs that I had, and I wasn’t even aware of until very recently, in fact, one of them was that everybody else is more important than me. And when you believe that, you put everybody else first, which is exactly what I was doing, and you don’t take the time to do what you need to do for yourself to make those changes to your lifestyle or your health.
And the second one was that I’m a bad person. Now, I know that if those two things hadn’t changed along the way, then I would have had success to a certain degree, but at some point, those beliefs, whether I was aware of them or not, would have raised their ugly heads again, and I would have self sabotage and put all the weight back on if not more, which is what so many people do.
Anthony Hartcher 6:06
So what brought you to the realisation that you find these limiting beliefs.
Shari Ware 6:10
That’s a funny story. Actually. Like I said, it was those those two beliefs I only really became aware of very recently. So I would say in the last two years, so I’d already released my 100 kilos, by that point, I was actually doing a business exercise, I was doing an exercise around, because now I work with people to help them to release the weight. And I was doing an exercise around my perfect person, the person that I work with them.
For me, in a lot of ways, I’m lucky because that person is myself back before I release the weight. So I basically was doing this exercise and put myself back in my shoes back then. And one of the questions was, what are your three core life beliefs. And I just wrote down those three lines there. And I just wrote down very quickly three things. And then I sat back and I looked at what I’d written. And that’s when I realised, oh, my goodness, I’m, I’ve never realised that I had those beliefs.
And so the first thing that I wrote down, was that everything happens for a reason, which I still believe to this day, I wouldn’t be where I am, without everything that’s gone before it. And the second was that everybody else is more important than me. And the third was that I’m a bad person. And I realised at that point, that that is what I believed back then. And I actually don’t know when those beliefs changed. But I do know that if they hadn’t have changed, that I would probably be 190 or 200 kilos, showery by this point.
And but that’s given me, that’s helped me to be able to help other people, because they don’t need to be aware of exactly what the beliefs are, it is it is helpful to a certain extent, they just need to be aware that they are those things that are stopping them. And that it’s important to work on whatever those beliefs are, whether we’re aware of exactly what they are or not. And that’s what so many people don’t do, because they just told you just need to eat less and exercise. So a lot of people, they do focus on that, because that’s what they’ve been told. And that’s what they believe. And they don’t look at any of the mindset stuff, there’s stuff in the subconscious mind that is going to stop you at some point if you don’t work on it.
Anthony Hartcher 8:39
Let’s delve into that mindset side. Because that seems to be where and the magic of how you lost that 100 kilos. You know, even without the realisation of your limiting beliefs, you’re working on your mindset on that journey. So how did it start? And what were you doing? What tools were you applying to your mindset that helped ship those kilos?
Shari Ware 9:01
So the first thing that happened to me was my, it was all around my why. And I actually use a quote from the book. It’s called the secret code of success by Noah St. John. And in that book, he says that you can’t fix a how to problem without why to answer.
I hope I’ve got that right kind of mind book. But basically what it means is that when you’re talking about weight loss or weight releases, I usually call it we always know how to. As I said before, we might not know all of the steps, but we will usually know at least one or two of the steps that we can take that is going to get us a result in the short term. And if we’re not taking those steps, then it’s because we don’t have a strong enough why. And sometimes it’s not just about the why especially in my case I had massive reasons why I wanted to release the weight.
And I tried many times, and I wasn’t successful. Because what I didn’t know for a very long time was I had that really big reason why I didn’t want to because I felt I needed that protection. So it’s about having reasons that are so big, that they overshadow or outweigh all of those reasons why you don’t want to make changes. So that was the first thing that started for me.
Then along the way, I had belief shifts. There’s, there’s four really important parts to belief. The first one is that you have to believe that what you’re trying to achieve is possible. And that’s why it’s really helpful to have people like me and other people in the world. There’s lots of success stories out there. And it’s important to be consuming as much of that as possible. So that you know that what you’re trying to achieve is possible in the first place. Because if you don’t, you’re not going to make any changes, what would be the point.
The second part is to believe that you yourself can do it. So often, we might look at somebody, like somebody might look at me and go, Oh, well, she did it. But that doesn’t mean that I can. So we need to have that level of belief in ourselves, which I found that belief in myself. The third is to remove all the limiting beliefs that are stopping you or causing you to self sabotage when you do start to make progress. And that’s something that takes time.
And the fourth one, and this is a might be the last one that I say. But it’s really, really important. And it’s been open to your beliefs changing along the way, which I have to say. I didn’t realise in the beginning was important. But as I’ve continued along my journey, because my journey is still continuing today, I am continually learning and I am continually applying, and I’m continually trying new things and going okay, well, that works for me or no, that didn’t work for me. Okay, what next, and so many of my beliefs around to the body and nutrition and exercise and anything to do with health and wellness, because it is a total mind body spirit approach.
So many of my beliefs today are totally different to what they were 10 years ago, that’s been a gradual change. And I know that in another 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 years, they’re probably going to be a whole lot different again. And that’s where a lot of people don’t progress because they’ve got this belief and they just, they’re not open to that belief, maybe not being shown correct. And beliefs can be true for us at the time that at some point, they can become something that doesn’t serve us. So if it’s something that’s not serving us need to be open to that belief changing.
Anthony Hartcher 13:10
And that’s your, your journey, what you went on, you had those limiting beliefs that you’re carrying with you and you unravelled them over time as you went along this journey. And that journey started with that finding your why. And once you knew your why you could achieve the how and how did you get down to that? Why, like so, you know, you found it and then that really set you up for success? Did it take a while to find it? Were you with the coach? Or is there any particular techniques that were applied to help you find your why?
Shari Ware 13:44
Yeah, there’s a few things actually. So one is visualisation. And that’s something that I still do today, every day, I’m continually visualising and I did that the whole time I was on that journey. I just kept having that vision in my mind. And I would, it’s, it’s one thing to visualise it it’s also important to even if it’s only for a couple of minutes a day and I do this every single morning is actually allowing ourselves not just to envision it but to allow ourselves to actually feel how we feel, how we know we’re going to feel when we get there, that it’s really important because our life is driven by emotion.
And when you are clear in your head of where you want to go, and you could your mind doesn’t know the difference between real or imagined. So if you take that time, as often as you can and every single day to close your eyes, visualise what it looks like what it feels like, your subconscious mind feels that is already used. So it will help you to start doing what you need to do or what you would be doing if you were already there. And you will see gradual change without you even having to consciously think about but the subconscious is such a powerful thing.
So visualisation was one, one really big thing, I didn’t realise at the time. But as I went through, I realised that that was a really big part of it. The second thing is definitely, I call it support and accountability. And they can be two parts. They’re both really big support was some important, so I had support in many forms. And I might encourage people to get as many forms of support as they can. Friends, family, colleagues, exercise buddies, especially if you don’t like exercising, which I certainly do it. It’s like brushing your teeth, you might not like to do it. But if we don’t do it, there’s serious ramifications.
So support in any form, so personal with the exercise, because I really didn’t like exercising, I started to, I made myself pay for it, for a start, because I didn’t like to waste money back then. I was a single parent and money was tight. And so if I paid for it, I knew I would go because I just couldn’t, I didn’t want to waste that money. So that was a big part, I paid for exercise and got to a point where I paid for a personal trainer, which was really, really helpful. Also, I had other coaches, as well as the exercise coaches I had, in particular one, she was actually part of one of the places that I didn’t get to exercise.
But we worked a lot together, she was a mentor for me, not just with the exercise with the mindset stuff as well. And it was so it was just so helpful to have that person there that I could talk to. Yeah, as much support and people don’t realise how much, especially when you get frustrated if you know if you seem and so many people do this, and I did this, you seem to go two steps forward. And then one step back sometimes, when you have those times just a word from somebody who haven’t seen you for a while it goes, oh my goodness, you look amazing. Or, you know, you’re doing so well. It just really helps you to think oh, okay, yes, okay, let’s not focus on stuff I just took back, let’s focus on how far we’ve come. And let’s keep just taking that next step.
Anthony Hartcher 17:23
And that’s, you know, as you said, surrounding yourself in those people that really support you and want to see you succeed. And those people are, you know, providing encouragement and as you just mentioned that, during that journey, you encountered obstacles and hardships. And it was that support that you had, I can also that strong vision that you had your why that really took you beyond that obstacle.
And I think that certainly will, you know, a lot of people start on this weight loss journey, and they hit that obstacle. And they try to persevere and you know, they give up because it becomes too hard. I think with the tools that you’ve learned, it really helps people get to navigate all the way through that obstacle, be able to continue.
Shari Ware 18:09
There’s an analogy that I use for all of my clients. And it’s it’s really helpful for a lot of people. So I’ll give it now, it’s like, you just think about when you’re driving somewhere that you’ve never been before, you know, the general area, the general vicinity that it’s in, but you’ve never actually driven there before. So if you like me, you hop in your car, you put Maps on your phone, and then you listen to the voice that tells you where to go.
However, sometimes there might be roadworks, and you have to take a detour. Or you might come to a part in the road where there’s a couple of speed bumps, and you have to slow down. So being open to the path not being exactly what you are not looking exactly like what you think it’s going to look like. But knowing that it doesn’t matter how you get there. And in fact, those data is and those speed bumps actually helping you to grow stronger along the way.
Anthony Hartcher 19:09
The back as you said it, you know, you believe that everything happens to us for a reason. And and that’s a perfect example where these things get thrown in our way. And they’re there for us to learn something from us and as you alluded to earlier, is that you need to have that open mindset to think well if there are ways around this, it’s not that I’m stuck.
So I really love that analogy and I’ve heard that analogy through a relating life or living life like water and the way water flows. And you know how it just flows over rocks and around it and under it and through it and mortar always find a way. And yeah, I like that analogy that you brought up in terms of you know, Coming to a place never been to. But knowing you want to lose 100 kilos, but to know that the place that you want to arrive, but on the way, you’re going to encounter those speed humps. And it’s through that support. You mentioned strong wide vision. And that open mindset is probably the four key areas that really helped you?
Shari Ware 20:22
Yeah, definitely. Definitely.
Anthony Hartcher 20:25
Yeah. Is there any, any closing tips you’d like to impart, other than what we’ve shared?
Shari Ware 20:34
I really, there’s, there’s two really big things that I always try and leave people with. And it is about your why. So the first one is, when you have massive why power, you don’t need willpower. And the second one is, if your why doesn’t make you cry, it’s not strong enough.
Anthony Hartcher 20:55
You’re not connected with it. As you said, it’s got to be attached to emotion. And you got to feel it. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That’s very strong in parting words, and very insightful. The whole discussion with you, I really enjoyed it Shari, how can listeners viewers get in touch with you? You know, they’re really struggling like that. And they need that coach, that person that can guide them? Who’s who’s done it before? Who’s walked in their path? How can they get best get in contact with you?
Shari Ware 21:24
On all the social media, so you’ll find me on Facebook and the FAB New Body or Shari Ware. Look me up. Happy for anybody to friend request me and send me a message.
If they want me privately. I have. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org. And obviously, I’m on Instagram and LinkedIn and all those things as well. But I’ll send you all my links, and I’m sure you’ll put them in the show.
Anthony Hartcher 21:49
Yeah, I’ll make sure they tagged to the appropriate places where I post this. So I really appreciate your time. It’s been insightful for me, and no doubt insightful for the listeners and viewers. So thank you so much.
Shari Ware 22:05
Transcribed by https://otter.ai