Self Sabotage: Perils of Setting High And Unrealistic Expectations  

In a world teeming with opportunities for growth and success, it’s ironically our own selves that sometimes hold us back. You might’ve chalked up that feeling to a mere bad day, but what if it’s a deeper, more ingrained pattern? Welcome to the intriguing realm of self sabotage.  

Drawing inspiration from an insightful episode of the me&my health up podcast hosted by Anthony Hartcher, this blog explores the concealed maze of self-imposed barriers. Dive in, and you might just discover the keys to unlocking a life free from the shadows of self doubt and self-imposed limitations.

Watch the full episode here:

Decoding Self Sabotage: Pitfall of Setting High Expectations

What is Self Sabotage? 

At its core, self sabotage is the act of undermining one’s own interests and goals. It can manifest in various ways – from procrastination to negative self-talk. While it’s a common experience, its roots often trace back to our internal struggles, such as trying to fit into societal moulds that don’t resonate with our true selves.  

For example, being pressured into certain behaviours or lifestyles can lead to feelings of resentment, ultimately manifesting as self sabotaging behaviours. 

Dangers of Setting Unrealistic and High Expectations 

Social media platforms and the internet parade myriad portrayals of ‘ideal’ lives, making it increasingly hard to discern reality from highly curated snapshots. This pervasive influence cultivates the ground for setting up lofty, often unattainable expectations for ourselves.

Here’s a breakdown of the risks involved:  

Comparison Trap 

Our modern society feeds off comparison. When we constantly gauge our achievements, lifestyles, or even our happiness against those of others, it’s a recipe for discontentment. This persistent need to ‘keep up’ can result in feelings of never being enough. 

Mental Health Strain 

Consistently failing to meet unrealistic standards can severely impact our mental health. This relentless pursuit may lead to stress, anxiety, and even depression, especially when we feel trapped in a cycle of never meeting our own expectations. 

Physical Health Impacts 

Mental strain doesn’t just stay in the mind; it manifests in the body too. This can range from sleep disturbances to more serious ailments exacerbated by chronic stress, like cardiovascular issues. 

Stifling of Growth and Potential 

By setting the bar impossibly high, we might deter ourselves from even attempting to achieve goals. The fear of not meeting these lofty standards can inhibit us from taking risks, trying new experiences, or even starting new projects. 

Relationship Strains 

Unrealistic expectations don’t just affect our relationship with ourselves. They can spill over into our personal and professional relationships, as we might project these expectations onto others, leading to conflicts and misunderstandings. 

Erosion of Self-Identity 

Over time, anchoring our worth to these external, often unrealistic benchmarks can erode our sense of self. We might lose touch with our authentic selves, constantly donning masks to fit into moulds that society deems acceptable. 

How to Defeat Self Sabotage 

Discover and Embrace Your Authentic Self 

Before you can conquer self sabotage, it’s crucial for you to have a clear understanding of who you are at your core. What are your genuine passions? What values drive your decisions?  

Taking the time to reflect on these questions allows you to forge a path that’s truly aligned with your values, rather than getting swayed by external pressures. Remember the frustration you felt when you tried to fit into someone else’s expectations?  

By honouring your true self, you can avoid that discontent. 

Avoid the Trap of Instant Gratification 

In an age of instant information and quick fixes, it’s easy for you to get caught up in the desire for immediate rewards. However, there’s a deeper fulfilment that comes from pursuing long-term goals.

When you’re tempted to opt for that quick dopamine hit, remind yourself of the deeper satisfaction that comes from staying true to your authentic journey. 

Cultivate Patience  

Your path is uniquely yours, and comparing it to others can be a slippery slope into self-doubt. Learn to appreciate the progress you’re making, no matter how slow it might seem.  

Celebrate the small victories, and remember that every step, no matter how tiny, is moving you closer to your goals.  

Seek and Nurture a Supportive Community 

You don’t have to face the challenges alone. By surrounding yourself with individuals who share similar values and aspirations, you not only gain encouragement but also diverse perspectives that can help you grow.

Engage in communities, like the me&my health up club, where members uplift each other, share insights, and journey together towards holistic well-being. 

Final Thoughts 

Tackling self sabotage isn’t a one-time task but an ongoing journey of self-awareness, patience, and authenticity. By grounding yourself in your true essence, resisting short-term temptations, and fostering supportive relationships, you pave the way towards a life where your actions and aspirations harmoniously align, breaking free from the chains of self-defeating behaviours. 

Embrace Holistic Wellness with me&my wellness  

Finding your true self amidst self-sabotage can be daunting, but with the right guidance, it’s attainable. At me&my wellness, our holistic health coaching is uniquely tailored to your wellness journey.  

We address every facet of your well-being, ensuring a path free from self-defeating behaviours and aligned with genuine contentment. Ready for a transformative shift? Book a consultation with us today and embark on your holistic health journey.