Balance Without Compromise with Wayne Forrest

me&my health up podcast episode #81 – Transcript

Wayne Forrest 0:00
I know keep banging on about this bloody quiz, powerful question, but it is so bloody powerful because what would you love for your life, not Joe Smith or what my old teacher said about me or, or what my parents always wanted for me.

It’s what you would love and if you can hone in on that, oh my god all the sudden life gets a hell of a lot easier because you’re going after something that is your uniqueness, your unique skill, your unique expression because we all have this beautiful expression that is unique to us.

Anthony Hartcher 0:44
Hey, that was the amazing Wayne Forrest such an inspiration. He is a Life Mastery Consultant, and I’m Anthony Hartcher, your host of me&my health off. I’m a clinical nutritionist and lifestyle medicine specialist, and this episode today is on balance.

So it’s all about how you can achieve balance even though the world is opening up and starting to increase the pace of life so you can find your direction. Find your balance through listening to Wayne Forrest and me in this incredible interview. So stay tuned. Here is Wayne.

Top of the afternoon, Wayne Forrest. How are you today?

Wayne Forrest 1:31
Great. Thanks, Anthony, and thank you for having me back. Again. It’s always a pleasure. I really enjoy our little conversations around these topics.

Anthony Hartcher 1:40
It’s been fantastic conversing with you and for those that have missed our previous two episodes, they’re episode 70 and episode 71 and we had a great chat about certainly Wayne share the story and he shared how people can discover new abilities, and how they can thrive and be create the best life they would like through his process.

So he shared his process. So certainly tune into Episode number 70 and 71 If you haven’t listened, and today, we’re going to be talking about balance and balance in the context that or I guess in a global sense, with, we’re reopening in a big way and things are starting to come back to more of I don’t know whether you call it the new normal or some sort of normality, and there’s a bit of anxiousness about that, you know, getting back out into the community, particularly after what’s been going around so ferociously.

And, and there are certainly people at different ends of the spectrum. So some people have really embraced, I guess, the chat, the sudden change or the emerging change and have really just gone gung ho into more freedoms, and then others are a bit you’d say, more gun shy and have, you know, taking a more steady, cautious approach, and so Wayne is going to be sharing with us, I guess, how to how can people find their balance and what works for them?

So Wayne and without much further ado, I certainly want you to give your perspective on this sense of how can people find balance amongst all this, I guess still uncertainty and change.

Wayne Forrest 3:34
I can’t help myself into the I have to start with a bit of a joke. You know, I’m a Tetraplegia. I’m a neck injury and I’ve got absolutely no physical balance in my life. It doesn’t take much for me to fall out of my wheelchair. hahaha, So I just couldn’t help myself.

We’re talking about balance, but we’re not talking about physical balance, we’re talking about a balance of lifestyle and balance of bringing what we would love in our life, more of that and less of the other stuff that we don’t want, and we have this ability to design our life or go through life by default.

Now, what do I mean by that is that we are really creative beings. Right? If we have decided to have a day in bed with the pillow over our head, running away from life, that’s what we create.

We create a day in bed and in bed you know, away from life. So we are creative beings. It doesn’t matter what we create. So why not create it by design? And most of us, until someone said to you that you can create a life by design, most of us do it by default.

We don’t have a real plan, we, we spend more time planning a holiday or planning the night out with our mates, but we don’t plan everything else, and so this is that idea, then how would you love to create that spare time? That worked to balance that, that family balance, that exercise, balance that food, healthy, loving balance? And I use my calendar to do this, I use that powerful question, and again, that was mentioned in the other two episodes of what would I love? What would I love for my exercise? Knowing what’s going to be good for me? What would I, you know, love to eat? Am I going to love to eat? Pies? Yes, I love my pie, right, but I know that that’s not going to be a great balance over time, and the result is that I’m going to have rather a big tummy and struggle to do my day to day things and my health is going to suffer for.

So it’s everything in monitor moderation, but we have this ability to design it, and so that’s the first step is understanding that we can design that balance in our life.

Anthony Hartcher 6:54
Yeah, absolutely. So it’s really creating the blueprint of what people want in their lives and they follow that blueprint every day, just like the construction of a building has a there’s a plan and all the builders, everyone, you know, unites in terms of following that blueprint and in the end, is an amazing creation that’s manifested from that original blueprint.

I remember, I think it was in Episode, or he’s got to test it out. Episode 70. Why’d I think you mentioned that could be episode 70, but you could correct me it was, instead of in that, he said that everything is created twice, you know, first we created in our mind, and then it manifests physically.

So that’s exactly what you’re letting the listeners know is that they need to actually design the life that they want, as opposed to living it by default, where they just essentially living other people’s lives.

Wayne Forrest 7:57
Yeah, and we have to ask ourselves, what, what we want to be like and 90 years of age, right? None of us have got none of us know, our timeframe. Even though you might be given a diagnosis, you still don’t really know what our death date is, right? So let’s, even if you’ve been told that who says that is? Isn’t there a possibility that it can be even, that you can be whatever diagnosis you’ve got? So why not aim for something like 90 years of age or 100 years of age?

Now, do you want to be the person who’s eaten a lot of pies, which I love pies, or bring the pies up? Right? in a wheelchair at 90, all right. I’m not gonna be very healthy. So. So, you know, we need that exercise. We know it’s good for us, we know that the right diet is good for us. So why not design that and give ourselves power to aim at something, of course, there’s this pet name that we’ve all got, that will drag us back to those old habits, but if we’ve got a nice strong plan, then we’ve got something to aim at and, and, and we can, if we do fall off the track, it’s easier to just get up and get back on track, and there’s a couple of things that we can talk about today is that how do we, you know, not make ourselves guilty for falling off the bandwagon?

You know, there’s one thing that humans are really good at is that we can beat ourselves up for having that pie, right? Yes. Okay. You hit the pie. Move on. You know, aim for the 90 fit-year-old, go ahead and can do extra steps or, or make sure you have a salad for dinner or, you know, just let it be and move on to your plan and move on to the next thing that is going to give you the power and that plan.

Anthony Hartcher 10:21
Yeah, so what you’re saying is to just get back on track, not beat yourself up and just continue on that path towards that blueprint, and as opposed to just manifesting that negativity around, you know, I shouldn’t have done that I shouldn’t eat that pie that pies. Look on.

This is why I’m fat, and you know, and they keep doing this, I guess, rumination about these negative thoughts, which really then just takes them further off track, as opposed to bringing them back on track. Have you got any thoughts around in the previous episode, you mentioned those areas of our lives and to rate yourself in those areas, and then start working a plan to get that area back on track or to where you want it to be, you know, start in as to this is what I desire.

So, therefore, these are the actions that I’m going to take to get me to that and remember, you mentioned relationships in the previous episode. So in order in order to create that blueprint, do suggest your clients to start with that sort of that circle of life or those segments of life, and then really look at each of those segments age, whether it be financial, you know, I want to retire by the age of 50 or want to be safe you know, have fun, my finances safely secured by such and such an age, I want to have an incredible marriage and so many children, and this is what marriage looks like to me, and this is how I want my children to grow up and, and then in other career and vocation sectors, is that what you suggest in terms of where clients start with their blueprint?

Wayne Forrest 12:02
Beautiful, and totally, you know, it’s, it’s looking at those four sections, and they were relationships, health and well-being vocation where your expression which is can be monetized the art and music and things like that, or your career, job, a business, whatever that is for vocation and then, of course, that time and money freedom and if you do right itself, and then what would you really love in that area, that gives you a real strong plan and we were talking about this before, you know, getting back to that balance ideas in is a great way to I’ve got a big wall calendar, I’ve got my Google calendar as well and between the two, I use that really well to create that balance my life.

A calendar is underestimated. Right, and on the big wall one, the first thing I put up there is so his family things you know, those holidays, the things that matter to me a lot. Like I’ve got my son’s in a rugby tournament this weekend. Right, and that’s, that’s big for me, I love my kid’s sports. So that’s the first thing that goes on my calendar, I will shift work, I will do whatever I can. So I get to my kid’s sport. It doesn’t matter if it’s netball, rugby, cricket, whatever it is, right? That is big on my list, and holidays are big on my list with my family, and then my self-learning and my fitness.

So I’m looking after number one first, and my family, they’re very even, right and then I have my work. I’m lucky I’m self-employed and know doing this stuff so I can work my calendar around there.

With some people, I have to have to be a nine to five job, but if that’s the case, make sure that you and your family or those things that you hold dear to your heart. Go in there first straight after that nine to five job, and then those other things. Maybe it’s some education or self-education, put that in there.

Those things that matter to you that are going to grow you as a person. You know, it’s too easy to blame all the outside circumstances going on, but if we look after numbers One and, and create a good place for ourselves to love and be in here in our mind. First, that’s gonna have a huge impact on our family, our jobs, and our communities. So we can use that calendar to really create that balance.

Anthony Hartcher 15:24
As I say, if you don’t look after yourself, then you can’t best serve others, you need to be in an optimal condition in order to Yeah, I guess to give the best care, best support to those around you in terms of mentally and physically, and obviously, you know, in your circumstances, there’s some limitations around that physical side, but you obviously work within those limitations to serve your family and your community the best way that you can.

So just in terms of you mentioned the calendar, and then blocking out those mass that it’s not, you know, should your codes, they’re essentially the mass like, I, I’m going I must attend my son’s rugby game, I must attend my daughter’s netball game, and you know, must spend valuable, important time with family and then there’s, so that’s how you, I guess, set out that week, and then, and then obviously, you’ve got your vocation in there in terms of your work that, you know, goes in between or around those sorts of things.

What happens like with, because what I find, particularly now that we’re coming in or out of this restriction, so we’ve been typically well here in Sydney, and I can’t speak for her, certainly in Hawke’s Bay, you haven’t had much of an issue at all but here in Sydney, we’ve had like over 106 days of restrictions, and we couldn’t have kept going to the pub, we can’t have people over our over to our house, and now that these restrictions have lifted, people, just you know that they just so keen to get back to the pub and so keen to have people over, and as humans, we generally just go to the other extreme, we just want every weekend, I’m going to go to the pub every Friday, Saturday night, and then I’ll have friends over and we’re just going to be partying and partying until you know, the body can no longer party.

How do you console that? Or how do you moderate that you got any tips around that?

Wayne Forrest 17:31
What’s the choice center, you know, has as a choice, and with my background and my past, I have been a big drinker and my past, and the more I’ve, I’ve got centered and done this work, the less I need the alcohol or, or other influences in my life, and that is because I’m comfortable with who I am, and I’m comfortable with myself and you know, so a little bit different Anthony, that question by working on yourself.

I don’t need to overdo it and the influences that I would have had to or did, especially in the first 10 years after my accident. You know, I drank heavily because that was my coping mechanism. So, no, I’m definitely speaking from experience of drinking until my body kind of said, you know, really? Come on. You’ve had enough for this is this is no good, and so, you know, if you are needing to drink or do stuff excessively where you’re having a constant hangover the next day you know why? I’d be asking why.

Be curious about that. You know, I’m not saying this in the wrong way but I’m saying that there’s a reason why you have to get shit-faced every week or every weekend, and what is that reason? And what I’ve when I’ve explored this question with most people as because I want to you know, I’m not filling let’s get drunk, get drunk. So you know, I don’t feel you know, I can be Free or I can be free I can be who I truly am.

Guess what? If you give yourself more love, you know, I can be free, I can be truly who I, I truly am without the alcohol, and yes, I enjoy a nice glass red wine now and then or, or Gin, or, or glass of beer or a bottle of beer, but I haven’t had a hangover for the last five years or six years, if not 10, and that’s because I’ve done a lot of work on myself, and I don’t actually need the alcohol to give me a false or to bring out my personality. Yeah.

It’s a little bit different answer than what you might expect but you know, I do think that we use alcohol and drugs and those things too, to put a mask on of who we truly are, and, of course, we’re free and we can take that mask off when we’re drunk or when we’re stoned or high or whatever that is.

Anthony Hartcher 21:22
Yeah, so it’s that lack of self-acceptance, isn’t it? Or, or not knowing what you want in life, like, as you said, if you had the blueprint, the blueprints clear to a person, then they are they’re on track, they’re, you know, their compass is pointing in the right direction and they’re following that path, and then if people ask them, Why do you want to do this? And then they can say, Does this align to my path? Is this sort of a deviation that I want? Or is it going to help me to get to where I want to? And then it’s easier at that point to that junction to say yes or no, because they know where true north is.

Whereas what you know, essentially, what you’re saying is, when you’re lost, and you have no blueprint, and I think this is what you probably experienced after your accident. Because remember, in that first episode, you mentioned how your whole life revolved around physical abilities, and everything was physical, you’re a Strong man, strong farmer, you love playing rugby, you loved going out with the mates, and then when that was all taken away from you, you’re sort of thinking, well, what’s the left? And I think that’s probably what you went through over that 10 years post, the accident was just rediscovering that blueprint for yourself, essentially.

And I think that’s where some people can get disorientated when it comes to opening up is that they just go from this person, ask them to this thing, they go to that then someone else asked her to another event or party, they go to that and they just keep running around, and they’re sort of looking for something or you know, something, and as you said, they could be escaping from something, but essentially, they, they don’t have that.

I guess blueprint is where they want to take their life, because I certainly remember from my days when I was an athlete that, you know, I wanted that goal, I wanted to achieve that goal and I knew that a night out with the mates was just going to take me further away from that goal. So it was just an easy, no. Whereas I can imagine if I didn’t have that goal, and just go Yeah, why not? I’ve got nothing else to do.

Wayne Forrest 23:33
And, you know, that comes back to that beautiful question. Of if, if you ask yourself enough of what would I really love? Like? No, none of the bullshit that’s going around us pardons my language. You know, there’s so much crap out there, that, that, you know, we aren’t meant to be like everyone else.

We are individuals having this experience as humans, right? And it’s our expression of that. So. So, when you ask yourself, really ask yourself, what would I love my life? Even if you don’t know it, where you don’t feel like you’ve got their direction? If you really concentrate on asking that question.

Even if you have to ask it day after day until we do find it, it will come to you and then all of a sudden you have a burning desire, like this sport, you know, you have a burning goal. You want to be here, you want to give to society and community and family you know because you are passionate about creating something and it’s an align with who you are because you’ve asked yourself that powerful question,

Anthony Hartcher 25:02
It really gets back to as to that person asking themselves, why, why are they doing this to themselves? And further, I guess there’s a few wiser to get down to that deeper meaning and uncovering what might be, why they might be self-sabotaging themselves, or why they are putting on that persona or each time and then still unhappy with that persona, because they’re not their true self, and they haven’t discovered their true self and that begs the question when I hear about this persona, and people putting on masks, and they’re, you know, not accepting who they are.

Is that is it because they want to be someone else? because they’re constantly you know if you look at social media feeds, you see this successful person or this beautiful person, or, and then they’re thinking, I want to be that person, because they’ve had success, or they got this huge following, or they’re, you know, they’re, they attract all the girls or, you know, they attract all the men or, you know, the depending on, which side of the fence you sit on, but yeah, what have you got to say around that in terms of, you know, that self-acceptance and, you know, not comparing yourself to others, because you also mentioned that everyone’s unique and special and has special abilities.

Wayne Forrest 26:24
And I think that it you know, we, we’ve been, we talk about the paradigm of thinking, right? And because our paradigms of thinking are made up of beliefs and, and what we’ve been taught in this lifetime, and we’ve been patterned with these different belief systems, right? Know.

You’ve got a belief system that is unique, also to your family and, and a way of upbringing and see, and society at the moment, we’ve got all these people believing that they’re meant to be like, the Smiths next door, might or, or that person, or that person or that person, because on the outside, they look like they’ve got a lot of fame, or they’re doing extremely well.

Guess what guys? They’ve got, most of them have got the same problem as you have. They’re worried about what you’re thinking, and they want what Joe Smith has got next door as well. If we can strip that and be curious around there and ask ourselves, what would I love? I know keep banging on about this bloody quiz, powerful question, but it is so bloody powerful, because what would you love for your life? Not Joe Smith, or what my old teacher said about me, or what my parents always wondered, for me. It’s the voice you would love and if you can really hone in on that.

Oh, my God, all the sudden life gets a hell of a lot easier because you’re going after something that is your uniqueness your unique skill, your unique expression because we all have this beautiful expression that is unique to us. No one speaks like me. No one speaks like Anthony. No one can express themselves. Like me or you. Right?

They might keep close, and there are people out there waiting for, your personal expression. Your way of saying things and they can’t wait for you, and actually an old mentor, I can’t remember who actually told me, but they said, there’s this longing.

We’ve got this longing in our lives, you know, this, there’s this part of us that is wanting something in us and there’s this discontent, of where we are always that growth seeking to express through us.

So in other words, you know, it’s the same as a piece of grass, how their grass can press through concrete through crack. You know, there’s life trying, saying grow grass, grow, grow, that it’s the same for us individually, I believe. Right? So what if you’re feeling like this discontent in your life, and there’s longing in your life? Guess what? You’re normal there and so you’ve got this life pulling you to grow, grow, grow, grow, like their piece of grass.

Anthony Hartcher 30:09
That’s a beautiful analogy, you know, expression of life, in a sense that, you know, that we all, all the time in life, there are going to be challenges or glass ceilings or things that get in the way of us wanting to, you know, achieve what our Blueprint is, or our goal and it’s that burning desire, and the strength of that burning desire is I guess, as you said, it’s how clear it is as to what you want, and if that’s crystal clear, then there’s going to be so much strength behind that bit of grass to bust through that to continue to survive.

Whereas if it’s not crystal clear, I guess then, you know, there’s that thing of discontentment and thinking there must be something better, and I’ll put on this mask and I might feel better if I put on this mask tonight and but then afterward, I think now I still feel the same and nothing’s changed. I’m just changing masks.

So I really love that analogy that you shared. In terms of Yes, we all have that underlying desire, which is completely normal. It’s just what we use that desire for is and then that’s coming back to that initial question that you keep asking is, you know, what is it that you desire? And, and pursue it? Yeah, and you’ve got this challenge coming up. So, you know, and looking at the challenge, and being a registered participant of your challenge, it seems to help people really find this, what do people really want right?

Wayne Forrest 31:54
Yeah mate Yep, we look at that awareness of how this works. In the first day, we’re going to look at that as well as, as well as their vision, you know, what, what I love and getting clear on that and then we’re going to look at the second day, a couple of things that that can stop us doing that, you know, and one of them is, and I’ll use a quote from my mentor, Mary Morrison, she says, No, merely without Ha, sorry.

When we don’t act on our dream, it’s merely Oh, I’ve got that totally wrong. Now. I have. When we don’t act, it’s just entertainment. That’s the word I was looking for. Right. So we’re living life just go by us if we don’t act. So we’re going to look at how would you can start becoming that person, then the dream and then the last day, we’re going to do a little bit of coaching, and also, look at that part of us that is afraid to break out of our box and our dream is quite often on the other side of that box.

As someone said, the directions is on never inside the box are always on the outside. So we must break out of that box to get our dream.

Anthony Hartcher 33:35
Awesome. So if you’re keen to break out of your box and chase that dream of yours, Wayne’s even going to help you define what that dream looks like for you. We’ll help you, I guess go through the process for your self-discovery of their dream, and then help you break out of your box.

So certainly suggest you sign up to Wayne’s challenge and, and go along for the journey, particularly will help you define your blueprint and, you know, follow a path that you’re going to love and you won’t need to put on a mask and personas and whatnot, and you’ll be a fulfilled person. So when does this challenge start weighing? And how can people register?

Wayne Forrest 34:19
Yeah, my, there’ll be a link on Facebook. It’s a Facebook-free challenge, and it’s three days. So it starts on the 17th of October at 10:10 am. In New Zealand time, so it’s not too bad for Sydney on it’s about eight 8 am Is it and go for roughly an hour, and it’ll do that for the next two days after that as well. So yeah, come and join us. It’s going to be fun, and I’m sure that they’ll go away learning some real powerful tools.

Anthony Hartcher 34:58
So join Wayne and myself on this challenge, and I look forward to seeing you on it and thriving during this challenging period. So I’ll put the link in the show notes. So you can go directly to the show notes, click on the link and register for the challenge.

Have you got any concluding words you’d like to pass on? With the listeners?

Wayne Forrest 35:24
Yeah, my, I’m just curious. Stay curious. I should suffer from questions. No, like, if you are one of those people that are having to go out and overdo it with alcohol or, or just are really happy, unhappy, sorry, in your life, then just be curious, why does it have to be this way?

Anthony Hartcher 35:56
Fantastic. In concluding words, and I really appreciate you putting aside the time over the last three episodes, and certainly persevering with me through the technical glitches. So we had some certainly technical issues on the first two episodes, and we’ve managed to nail it on the third.

So just like that grass persists to break through the crack and certainly, Wayne lives that philosophy, and he’s persisted with me, because he could have certainly ditched me after the first the technical issues on my side, and certainly not on his side. So he certainly persisted and said it was just meant to happen and yes, we’ve developed a great relationship from this.

He’s given us so much wonderful words of advice on life and how you can improve your own life. So suggest you follow Wayne, take up his challenge, and reach out to him. I certainly reach out to Wayne if you need some coaching or further support because that’s what he does for a living. That’s his vocation is to help others thrive and live the life that they want to live.

So certainly, Wayne can be contacted in the show notes as well. So thanks again, Wayne, I really, really appreciate this persistence and perseverance. As you have shown to me, thank you.

Wayne Forrest 37:12
Well, thank you, Anthony. It’s been a pleasure, mate. It’s just nice to meet another good-hearted bloke who wants to make a difference in the world. So thank you for being here.

Anthony Hartcher 37:26
Thank you. Appreciate that. Wayne, and for the listeners. I really hope you’ve enjoyed the episode, and if you haven’t listened to the previous two, listen to them because Wayne shares so many gems of knowledge on how you can be the best version of yourselves, and stay tuned for more insightful episodes of me&my health up.

Transcribed by